The real question is what have i got myself into?
I met a new guy and he seems so wonderful but he has a lot of issues with his past relationships and life that are still affecting him now – my question to myself is what do i do? Do i help him and be there for him as a friend?
I personally think that i am here for a purpose and that purpose being to be here to help people. I don’t mean that i should take on everyone elses problems but i really did click with this guy the first time i met him and the saying goes that ‘everything happens for a reason’.
Did i meet this guy for a reason? Am i meant to be in his life at this present time and is he meant to be in mine?
Summer is coming up and i am a 21 year old SINGLE person for the first time in almost over 4 years, i have a car that i am paying out of my ass for and many other things stressing me out, i should be out drinking and having fun with friends getting to my destinations on the tube or bus or some other form of transport like mums car or even cheap cabs shared with friends. What will my uni life be like? Will i have one?
What do i do? I don’t want to sell my car as it is my baby and one of the only achievements that once paid off i can truly say that it is mine, ‘ALL MINE!’ however cheesy that sounds it means a hell of a lot to me. I can still go out, have fun, get drunk with friends but that takes time and money two things of which i don’t have as i am either at work making the money or at home spending it on bills like my car or debts that are unpaid.
The credit card is the worst thing i have ever taken and i have no longer got them in my possesion but still have debts hanging over my head. There is no longer a strong desire to buy unnecessary shit just for the sake of shopping but it does get depressing when you cannot buy the things that you need at any present moment. Relying on others is not something that i like to do and most certainly taking money from others seems like a cardinal sin. So i will remain in this devilish burning hole that is getting deeper by the minute until i can figure out something or at least until i start university and get some proper direction in my life.
During my time at university i won’t be using my car that much – the thing that costs me an arm leg and many other possible body parts to run (my heart being one of them) – i will be taking public transport to many more places as parking is getting ludacriously expensive these days and i refuse to pay the congestion charge and parking just to go to uni so the train is going to be my PIMPED OUT ride for the next 4 and 1/2 years from september well to and from uni anyway and that is the place where i shall be spending most of my time apart from work as usual of course!
Whilst using my new found form of transport i will have much more time to myself so in order for preparation i need to sort out my itunes collection! and stock up well sort out the books that i have and have not read and pile them up ready to be used. I should have built in wardrobes by now but the builder seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth – i am hoping that he turns up before i start uni so i have a chance to get organised and get rid of ALL and yes i mean ALL of the unnecessary shit in my room. By unnecessary i mean i will have a chance to sell many things that probably at one time meant a lot to me and there are two locations that this sale could possibly happen – EBAY or a Car Boot Sale. Now i have been advised that the boot sale root is much easier and quicker for the cash as people are generally not always looking for a big bargain like they are on EBAY.
Again i will ask my question of the day – What do i do?
My half assed answer is like they say in the godfather – go to the mattresses! I really have no idea what that means and yes i am going to say the ultimate sin for anyone that loves movies, i don’t know what it means because i have NEVER seen the godfather – thats right NONE of them! One day i will get bored and sit down and watch them but at the moment that is a big maybe!
So people WHAT DO I DO???