Can you believe that the same job in a different place would be sooooo different! For the first time in a long while well towards then end of the night i had fun! It was great!
The music is bordering on awful but the customers love it and so do i in a way as it keeps them quiet and happy – on top of most of the crowd being so coked up to the eyeballs they don’t even know their own name, the crowd are what you call the typical bunch of spoilt rotten brats spending mummy and daddy’s money – however there are a few exceptions to the rule as always and they are the complete opposite to the point they are still very rich but by their own success and credit is given where it is due.
The drinks are not that overpriced for the area (Fulham) and the entrance fee is also quite reasonable. It is amazing how even though it is a reasonable price to get in people still rant about it being too much when they are not even using their own money and don’t have any limits on the amount they can use – obviously apart from the exceptions! The drinks are the usual drinks that you get in any bar or club so nothing new there!
The toilets! Well this was the highlight of the night! Half way through they decided that they all wanted to back up and flood including the mens – the only thing that was working properly was the mens urinal which looks like a big pigs trough! If you used the sink to wash your hands then the ladies toilet would flood more so EVERYTHING was off! The customers were going mad and there was nothing that we could do apart from apologise and to ratty, drunk fulhamites that is just ‘not acceptable’ *in the snootiest voice possible!*
I asked the club next door if some of the girls (the polite ones) could be escorted by myself to use their toilets and in true masculine i want to be a dick styley they said no! Absolutely ridiculous but then that is what happens when another club gets jealous as no-one wants to really go in theirs! So in true gusto fashion the ladies waited patiently as i cleared out the mens loo and rushed them in to squat over the urinal – two by two like noah’s ark!!!
Once the first and only batch were done there was already a hefty queue of guys and girls waiting for the same privilege to empty their bladder! The VIP girl was getting the arsehole with all the people asking her questions that she simply like the rest of us didn’t know the answer to: ‘WHEN ARE THE FUCKING PLUMBERS GETTING HERE!’
The toilet attendant started shouting because there were women in his male toilet – fucking pussy – it would have been any mans dream to look at a girl whilst taking a piss – well something like that anyway! I am sure that is up there in the list of sick fantasies guys have! Then the angry bar backer started swearing so i swore back in true ME fashion and told him if he ever swore at me like that again i would shove the mop up his ass so he would automatically clean the floor whilst walking and i would make it a permanent feature this was met by a round of applause from some of the polite girlies!
So the night finished with a big pile – literally a big pile of shit – it looks like someone couldn’t wait to walk down to the tesco public toilet and did a SHIT on the staircase – can you believe it and it was a girl! After everyone had left all of the door staff apart from one stayed behind to watch the cameras and the girls wasn’t caught head on but she was the only one at the time of it happening in that place whilst her friend stood watch on the staircase above so no-one could come down and see her whilst she defecated on the stairs – dirty bitch – the one thing that i found really nasty is that she didn’t even wipe or wash her hands and was probably hugging up on some guy! The pile wasn’t even formed it was runny like rotten dog shit – and i should know from picking my dogs mess up in the park and he has the dignity to go in the bush! I thought it would be a girl as it takes to much effort for a guy to pull down his dockers and drop a load and then pull up etc – So to a certain extent it proves that woman are dirty bastards just like men sometimes!
The managers are up for naming and shaming her which would be so funny – getting a close up of the culprit then sticking her picture around the club with the phrase – ‘You know who you are and what you did on the stairs – DIRTY WOMAN!’ Bitch would be too offensive in these circumstances!
So after we found out the culprit we (me, the head-doorman and another doorman) headed to the smoking area for many fags and to work our way through a big bottle of Absolut from the management!
Work finished at 3:30ish and i got home at 7am!
Wicked nite! Shame it wasn’t a nite out as i would have got pictures! – Not of the shit though!