So it all started with the room check in as i stood at reception and waited for one member of staff to serve me after standing there staring once into thin air then proceeded to check her bad manicure before actually realizing that i was actually waiting to be helped.
When i asked what time i could check in i was told that rooms would not be available until 2pm – i then was offered no alternative but had to ask if i could leave my number in the event of the room being sorted earlier than planned.
I left my number and we headed into town for some much needed coffee and retail therapy – we ended up perusing various jewellery shop cabinets and purchasing a mens wallet with a jug of sangria and some tapas – obviously not in the same place!
During this joyful time i managed to call the miscreants that call themselves receptionists in the excuse of a hotel and ask if they could possibly go out of their way and find out if the housekeeping department had actually managed to get our room ready.
The results were in and we were in business – we officially moved into our weekend room and it was love at first sight like when you first open a bottle of vodka and mix it with the first bit of pepsi – sweet harmony. This was only after being asked to give up my card details as a pre-authorization in case we charged anything to the room it would be billed straight to my card – something i was most definitely not very happy to do living on a student budget and all!
Problem #1: The heating was not on and the room was sweltering with the window – yes window not windows in the big bag area but single window was closed – so this was accepted and we opened it to air out the area as much as possible. I looked up and to my amazement there was a ceiling fan – as soon as i found the control i pressed it frantically only to realise something else that didn’t work ALREADY.
So far not so good –
We have a silly girl with her eyebrows drawn on, a dippy blond bitch who was obviously new and a duty manager that didn’t know her ass from her elbow let alone her lady bits.
After a good day down in the town and a slight belly ache from wolfing down the tapas and sangria in a short space of time i cracked on with my nails. Usually this is my forte but today for some reason everything was off key. I proceeded to get them done just for now with all intentions of making a second attempt the next day.
I showered and dressed and made it down to dinner about 30 minutes late to find that the table i was supposed to be on was just made up as the staff had forgotten us and we had no serviettes or wine glasses and even bread with butter was missing. We then asked for a bottle of wine which we were told the previous day would be free – to no surprise it took three members of staff 1 hour to check if we received our bottle and we hadn’t OBVIOUSLY. Another member of staff came over and then told us ‘You have to pay for the wine now’ not being happy with what i heard i cancelled my order and with a throat as dry as mother theresa’s lady garden i asked if it was entirely possible for the table to receive a jug of water with ice and some glasses AND some serviettes.
Yet another member of staff brought the water with glasses and handed me a pile of small black cocktail tissues – i asked ‘What do you propose i wipe with these?’ – in my head thinking to myself – THEY WOULDN’T EVEN COVER MY ASS!
At this point i was waiting for Manuel from Fawlty Towers to jump out and scream at me or Asthon Kutcher from PUNK’d neither of these happened and the bad service continued.
Moments later – Jesus appeared in a tuxedo with his ipod, a microphone and two big speakers – i was hoping that the water on my table would turn to wine but no such luck as he left his robe, sandals and magic wand back in jerusalem.
Part 2 will be continued soon . . .
Bed time peeps
Have a nice day now
p.s. sorry about the grammar – just felt the point needed to be made. Also the hotel in question will be named and shamed in the next installment!